I got whipped, again as with the flogging, I was ready. I growled, snarled, pretended not to feel that stinging pain, it was weak, it wasn't valid, it was old me, the scared me, the part that I am growing from. It is the me that let everything scare him. Every day at the gym, hours before in my workout today, I felt the pain, the mussles pulling, building themselves, I felt the sweat pour off my forehead, again, that was the old me, that was my shell, that was my skin. That was my youth, no more, as I've taken what I have learned and moved on, I have had amazing friendships, some friends I have lost, one tonight, couldn't watch my whipping. Yes, it hurt, but I growled it out, I beared my teeth like a mad dog. I knew, that I could take it. I knew it would pass, a part of me, big part, was screaming to stop, to raise that one finger, NO.

I'm working toward growth her men. I wasn't a jock, I didn't play sports, I was never one of the "guys" and I am still not one of the cliques, the many I saw out tonight, but after that whipping it doesn't matter. I only need my Guides, and my Goddess. It is HER that matters most. 

It was really fucking stupid that I lost my phone and was getting major pissed because I thought about the hassle of replacing it, then more so about that a toxic piece of fucking plastic was causing grief I had just wonderfully exhaulted only hours earlier. So, I prayed and walla-it was at the podium. Someone had found it. Not going crazy with the whole prayer thing, but I do beleive there is some wonderful force that knows us and loves us so well, more than we could ever see in ourselves that watches over, and if one connects that, they are safe, and can face anything.

Think About It.